One had to really look quick when he passed these acres. It wasn't very big and since it
had rows for growing vegetables,it looked like all the rest: There were vegetable rows like
all the rest, an old wooden framed house, though fairly big two stories, that looked like all
the rest and a vegetable stand like all the rest; at least in this state.
Of course, that was a talk of similarities. The real truth is, that though nearly everything
here was like all the rest, there was one major difference that set this land of planters apart
from all the others. That is exactly why it was called “Small things Farm"; for this farm was
an absolute rarity drowning in a lake of uniqueness.
"Small Things Farm" was given such a name because all plants and vegetables grown
here were always much smaller than their natural size. There were apples the size of
marbles, watermelons the size pickles, cantaloupes the size golf balls, plums the size of
raisons,mushmelons the size of baseballs, pumpkins the size of marbles and apricots the
size of perils, just to name a few.
In the beginning, the farm had been started by a "Jonathan Pelican" who was no longer
with the family, since he had been killed in an experiment with a plant. He had tried to
develop a meat eating plant that had a body shaped somewhat like a human. The plant
could live without being planted and could walk around.
The idea behind "Jonathan Pelican's" human-like plant was to develop a plant that could work in the fast food hamburger chains. The idea further was to have a "plant" employee that worked for hamburgers instead of money; Thus saving the fast food chains and other similar restaurants thousands of dollars.
The experiment though went sour when his so called "human like plant" attacked him, killed him and ate him. Fortunately, "Miss Pelican", good ol' "Kathryn", had some weed killer readily available, sprayed the plant with it and killed it; thus saving mankind from the negative results
and dangers that this plant might populate.
"I don't see why he never invented a human like plant that could live on french fries instead
of hamburgers", she said. "Why, he'd still be alive if he would have listened to me!"
"Kathryn" had a son who lived on the farm. His name was "Circles". She also had a hired hand named "Jackal". "Circles” did not like "Jackal" because he kept stealing things from him. One day he found his baseball glove missing. He looked and found it in “Jackal's” room. Another time, his "Monopoly” Game was missing. Once again; he found it in "Jackal's" room. Another day when he wanted to play baseball, He could not find his crystal clear solid plastic baseball with a fly in the center of it. Again as always, he found it in "Jackal's" room. His pet badger also turned up missing one day. As always, he found it in "Jackal's room.
So one day, "Circles" went to his mother, good ol' "Kathryn" and told her, "Mother; I want you to fire ‘Jackal’.”
His mother asks in absolute exasperation, "But; why?"
“He keeps stealing from me”, he answered.
"Stealing from you", she questioned: “but what is he taking?"
"Anything he can take", he retorted: "Everytime something is missing in my room, I find it in his room.”
"Kathryn” replied, "Why 'circles'; I didn't know you were a story telling boy. Shame on you for making up stories like that about people! What is wrong with you? Why, you're a little liar!"
"No mother", he insisted: “It's true! Everytime Something in my room becomes missing, I find it in 'Jackal's' room. So far, the things that I have found missing from my room and each time have been found in 'Jackal's’ room, have been my baseball glove, my 'Monopoly' game, my crystal clear hard plastic baseball with a fly in the center of it, my pet badger, my rubber mouse, my tambourine, my historical boomerang from the first ‘United Aborigines Boomerang Army’ and my shoe shine kit."
"Now I know your lying", accused "Kathryn"! "Why would ‘Jackal’ steal your shoe shine kit when he always wears, canvas tennis shoes? He doesn't want any of that stuff!”
"I'm going to teach you never to make up stories like that again about people: I'm going to make you clean out the garage!
"You know what I think? I'm going to tell you what I think and I think real good! I think that you are making stories up about
him because you don't like him. To the garage 'little man' with the dirty lying mouth; and if I catch you telling lies to deliberately wreck someone's reputation again, I'll wash your mouth out with soap! To the garage, you rotten scumbag liar!"
In speechless humiliation, "Circles" turned and ran out the room and down to the garage, where he began cleaning it out. He knew that "Jackal" had stolen his stuff. He not only kept finding his stuff in "Jackal's" room; but he was also the only person
around other than his mother who could have stolen it and he knew she never took it. Still, there was nothing he could do about
it. All he could do for the time being was clean out the garage under the frustration that he had been punished for something he never did; telling lies.
A week later in the afternoon, he decided to go to his room and look at his blank picture hanging on the wall, with the title at the bottom on a solid gold plate, fastened to the wooden picture frame that said, "THE BLANK PICTURE". The reason it was called “THE BLANK PICTURE” is because it was only white canvas with no drawing or painting on it. There was nothing on it at all.
The artist of “THE BLANK PICTURE” was none other than "Leonardo Da Vinci", who had created it by simply not drawing anything on it. He had sold it to the royal jester to the king of "Italy" for thousands of dollars. When the king found out that he
had it, he liked it so much that
he took it away from him. The royal jester told the king that he quit and the king had him hung. After the king of "Italy" got tired
of looking at it, he gave it to the king of "France", who also liked it but for some reason grew bored with it and gave it to the king
of "Russia" who didn't like it at all and threw it away.
At the royal dump, a foreign spy working for "Germany" by working at the royal dump to spy on dumped material knew, what hands "THE BLANK PICTURE" had passed through, apprehended it and had it smuggled to "Germany" with the message for
the king, “‘THE BLANK PICTURE’ drawn by ‘Leonardo Da Vinci’ and has been owned by the royal jester for the king of 'Italy',
the king of 'Italy', the king of 'France', the king of 'Russia' and now by you 'your highness'!"
In time, it would pass through a series of kings, royal employees, princes and even a couple of foreign presidents and
eventually wound up at a yard sale where "Circle's" father, Mr. "Jonathan Pelican", ended up buying it for $25.00 from the mysterious stranger with the dark blackened eyes; and in the end Mr. "Pelican" gave it to his son.
"Circles" loved this picture. He would sit in his room and stare at it for hours thinking about the immense amount of creativity behind it. Sometimes, he would dream of the day when he could draw such a famous picture himself.
He went to his room. This time however, he would receive an immense surprise; for when he looked up on the wall, to his surprise, "THE BLANK PICTURE" was missing.
"Where did my picture go", he wondered; and finally answered with another question, "Where else?!"
He turned and dashed out the door of his room. He ran down the hallway stairs and out the front door and finally found
himself at the front door of the shed where "Jackal" lived.
He opened his door and looked; and to his complete and never ending horror, there sat "Jackal" on his bed holding "THE BLANK PICTURE" in his hand. The big problem was that it wasn't blank anymore. In "Jackal's" hand was an ink pen with black ink; and to "Circle's" horrid shock, "Jackal" had drawn a self-portrait in blank ink of none other than himself!
"What on earth have you done", interrogated "Circles"? "'THE BLANK PICTURE' was worth thousands of dollars and you
took it and drew your ugly face on it!"
"Ugliness is a matter of opinion", insisted "Jackal"; "my beautiful face you mean! Just because you’re so much uglier than
me doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have any gratitude for my good looks. Consider me a beautiful flower in your garden to
counteract the depression that your ugliness brings.”
"No I don't you vulgar thing", shouted "Circles”! "I mean your ugly face! On top of that, that wasn't your property: it was
mine. My father gave that picture to me and it had great sentimental value. You keep taking my stuff as if it was yours!”
"Jackal" informed and questioned, "but you keep taking your stuff back; so what harm is there in it?"
"Oh shut up", screamed "Circles”: "Your just a traveling thief, getting hobo jobs here and there and stealing from people! You always have a wine bottle hidden under your bed and the stories you tell about your past and where you are from keep contradicting each other and changing. I don't know what you are or where you really came from; but I know that you don't
"Jackal" to this punned, "The nerve of you to say all that and call me ugly when you are the one who is ugly. I would be
happier if you were even uglier but I will just have to be content that you are uglier than I am. After all; I am quite good looking
and you are very ugly. I dare say that you have lost the beauty contest, ugly one."
"That's the last snotty remark from your mouth", hollered "Circles"!
"Why; what are you going to do about it ugly one”, asked "Jackal"?
"You're the ugly one", screamed "Circles"!
"And I asked you what you were going to do about it", "Jackal" further mentioned?
It was then that it occurred to "Circles" that "Jackal" was a full grown man and that he was just a boy. He would never be
able to beat him in a fight. Though he was stringy, he had a good frame with solid muscles. Even with men, he was more on
the tough side.
"Circles", in absolute disgust, grabbed his picture and fled out the door. He ran back to his room where he remained till
When his mother at last called him and told him that dinner was ready, he did not really want to go to dinner. He knew what
to expect: "Jackal" would be sitting at the table too with his mother and by now, surely "Jackal" would have told her some kind of
a false tale about what had happened. "Jackal" had the advantage in every way: He was a good liar, a good talker and a good actor. Furthermore, since he had gotten the job working on the farm, he had won the complete trust of his mother.
After "Circles" sat at the dinner table, it did not take long for his suspicions to prove correct and his mother almost immediately said to him, "'Circles'; 'Jackal' here told me that you drew a picture of him on 'THE BLANK PICTURE' and then came to his room and accused him of drawing the picture himself and shouted a bunch of obscenities at him and told him that he was ugly. How could you say such things! I find 'Jackal' a very handsome man!"
"Why thank you Mrs. 'Pelican'”, replied "Jackal". I too find you far on the attractive side.
"I wouldn't be too hard on the boy. After all, he is only a boy and all boys at one time or another are jealous over their mothers when someone else has entered their space. Children, when it comes to their mothers are very territorial. They are like a moose who wants to kill you just for being in the same forest.”
"I understand", answered "Kathryn" with a smile. "I always believe everything that you tell me. After all; you're very honest!"
"Jackal" finally informed Mrs. "Pelican", "You know Mrs. 'Pelican'; it has been so long since I have been married that I have almost forgotten what it is like; but when I do get married again, I hope the woman is as every bit as lovely as you and that her hands are as every bit as lovely as yours are."
"Jackal" grabs "Kathryn's" hand, raises it to his mouth and kisses it. She chuckles. He lowers it back down as he stares into her eyes. She stares back with emotion.
Then it came to the moment that "Jackal" first and then "Kathryn", turned and looked at "Circles" and "Jackal" Quoted, "You know Mrs. ‘Pelican’; I wish I was this boys father. I think I would make a good father for the boy.
"There is a school for philosophers in ‘Sweden’ in which one must spend four years to graduate; and in the end they give a student the ‘Man of Knowledge’ certificate of graduation for the art of philosophy. If I could become the boys father by some extraordinary miracle bestowed apon me by the hand of god, what I would do for this fine young man is, I would send him to
that school! For four long years I would; so that this remarkable child in the end would become a 'man of knowledge'!
"In those four years, my heart would bleed for his company and I would dred the loss of him from my site on the slow and
very long wait of the monotonous day to day basis and yearn for his precious company again and the day when I can
congratulate him for having become a master of philosophy.
"Believe me Mrs. ‘Pelican'; I know about these things and I can see clearly, that it is the best thing for the lad. Also I'm very honest!"
To all this, his mother stated, "Well; the boy does need an education and I don't want him to grow up knowing nothing. Besides; as you yourself say, you do know about these things and you're very honest."
To this, "Jackal" verbally cleared, "And I have been more than happy to inform you of that grand honesty, Mrs. 'Pelican'!"
As "Circles" stared into the eyes of "Jackal", he could not believe how corrupt "Jackal" really was and was equally shocked at how gullible his mother really was and could clearly see what was now going on. "Jackal" wanted the farm by marrying his
mother and he was working on her mentality for this purpose. Whether he planned to keep it all to himself someday or would
like to keep it and his mother, perhaps as a concubine, only he himself knew that. "Circles" was certain about one thing though: Whatever his motives, he regarded "Circles" as being in the way and wanted to get rid of him. The idea of sending him to a
“school of philosophy” was nothing more than a plan to get rid of him, so that he could work on his mother's trust without anyone around to interfere.
His mother had been gullible for a reason. After the death of "Circle's" father, she had never had the opportunity to meet up
with another man. She was too busy running the farm and taking care of "Circles". She had become so lonely, that she wanted
to believe that "Jackal" was a good man through wishful thinking; that he wanted to see her boy off to a ridiculous school not to
get rid of him; but to be some kind of a "man of philosophy”; a kind of education that "Circles" regarded as corny and a transformation away from having his own mind and he wanted no part of it.
"Circles" now thought about it and remembered that he had seen "Jackal" talking to his mother at times; but as soon as he
saw "Circles" coming, he would leave. He now knew that he had left when he saw him coming because he wanted to work on
his mother behind his back.
Later in his room, he decided that something had to be done about "Jackal"; but what? If he ignored the situation it would
only get worse. He would end up in a foreign “school of philosophy” or some other school while "Jackal" slowly took over the
farm. He would marry his mother and he was highly two-faced. For all he knew, he might kill his mother so he could have the
He knew what he had to do. It was the only thing he could do. He couldn't go to anybody like the police since "Jackal" hadn't committed any crime that he knew of. He couldn't beat him in a fight because he was a full grown man. He couldn't outtalk him. He couldn't outdo him in anything that he knew of. All this left only one alternative that he knew of: He would have to kill him.
Of course, this would require the right moment and the right idea. He thought about his deceased father's gun collection but decided against it because he didn't want any of the neighbors or local law enforcement officers hearing the gun shot because
then he would be in big trouble. If anyone found out about it he preferred that it would only be his mother because
his mother would probably only ground him.
One day "Circles" had even gone to his mother and told her, "Mom; if you don't fire 'Jackal', I'm going to kill him."
His mother told him, "and how are you going to do that? 'Jackal' is a full grown man and
much bigger than you and you are only a boy. I wouldn't want you killing 'Jackal' anyway: He's
a good man! Besides; even if you could kill 'Jackal', if you killed 'Jackal' or anybody else on this farm, I would have you grounded for two months!"
He continued thinking up plans until finally he came up with one that he thought would work. Right at the bottom of "Jackal's" door, he decided that he would fasten a rope real tight all the way across it, about six inches above the ground, in a horizontal
line. A few feet past the rope, right at the spot where "Jackal's" chest would fall to the ground, should he trip on the rope, he
would place a pointed piece of wood, screwed into a flat piece of wood, with the flat piece of wood lying on the ground to act like
a stand and the pointed piece sticking straight up, so that when "Jackal" fell, it would go into his chest like a knife. To guarantee that he did not stick his arms forward and stop his fall before the pointed piece of wood plunged into his chest or use his arms to guide his fall away from the pointed piece of wood, he would hammer a piece of thin wood pointing inward at the level of
"Jackal's" elbow, on each side of the door. That way, when "Jackal" tripped on the rope and fell forward, the thin wood at the
level of his elbow pointing inward on each side, wood catch his arms and prevent them from reaching forward to block his fall in any way.
It was on "Jackal's" day off when "Circles" acted. "Circles" knew already that "Jackal" always got drunk on his day off. He
also knew that on that particular evening, his mother would be going to a farmer's meeting to display the extremely small produce that was grown on "Small Things Farm". It was rumored that an actor was going to be there also. He had made a bet with
another actor, that he could eat an entire watermelon. Since neither had ever mentioned what size that the watermelon would
have to be, he was going to win the bet by buying a little tiny watermelon from "Small Things Farm" and eat it in one bite.
By the afternoon, "Jackal" was getting pretty drunk as usual. In his shed he could be heard singing a song that he had made
up while drinking that he was singing called, "When I Steal the Farm". Though good ol' "Kathryn" could not hear him singing the song, "Circles" could hear him plainly, for his window was very close to the shed that "Jackal" slept in.
He went downstairs and waited not too far away from "Jackal's" dwelling's when all of a sudden "Jackal" came bursting out
of it; and when he saw "Circles", he shouted to him, "Hey ya' ugly thing: I'm going to talk to your mother to show her how good looking I am."
It was O.K. with "Circles" though; for this was the moment that he had been waiting for; for "Jackal" to leave the shed where
he slept. After "Jackal" disappeared out of site, "Circles" snuck into "Jackal's" shed. He unlocked the back window and then
snuck out again.
But for some reason, "Jackal" did not come back right away; so he walked around the corner. There he saw "Jackal" talking
to his mother and smiling and his mother talking to "Jackal" and smiling. He walked up closer to them so that he could hear what they were saying.
His mother spoke to "Jackal" saying, "Yes 'Jackal'; I think that it's a great idea to have ‘Circles’ join the ‘Air Force’ for three
years when he gets back from the 'philosophy school' in 'Sweden' and I am totally amazed at how much you know about how well this would further his education, produce good character and help and assist him in so many ways.”
"I'm always happy to give you advice on what is best for 'Circles', Mrs. 'Pelican'", replied "Jackal"; "and don't forget what I also told you and that was that after he gets out of the ‘Air Force’, he is eligible for the ‘G.I. Bill’, which means that he can return to college for a few more years and further his education even more. He's a smart boy and I think that the best thing for him would
be for him to go to this law school that they have in '"Cleveland", "Ohio"', in which he would be able to complete in about six
years. Can you imagine what a grand amount of education and training your boy would have if he did four years of 'philosophy school' in 'Sweden', three years in the 'Air Force' and six more years in law school?; a total of thirteen years of training Mrs. ‘Pelican'.
"You do want what is best for your boy don't you? You do want him to have the education that you never had? Isn't your own son worth the splendid suggestions that I have made on his behalf. After all; I look apon him as my boy too."
"Why of course, 'Jackal'”, answered "Katheryn". “I never got to have that kind of education or training for myself and I would love for my boy to have all this. My education was only Kindergarten thru 4th grade and two years at '"Smith" Chicken Raising School'. Yes; I want this for my boy!"
"Then, may I suggest you do all in your power to see to it that he gets it and that you go to work on a strategy to give it to him right away", he asked? "The quicker you do this, the less time that he'll have to wait.”
To this, "Kathryn" answered smiling broadly, "You most certainly can. I am totally taken in absolute amazement of all that you have said about advancing ‘Circles's’ education.”
She then said, "Well; I have to go now to the farmer's meeting, so I'll see you later.”
She turned; and when she saw "Circles” standing there, she said with a smile, "I'll see you later. You know, you're going to get one great education!"
She then walked away toward the flatbed farm truck. She got into it waved and drove away.
After she left, "Jackal" ,with his drunk, bulging eyes, looked down apon "Circles" and snapped insultingly, "Ya know; I bet
your mother is nice enough to give me that truck: I'll have to ask her about it someday ya' ugly thing!"
"Circles” protested, "but that's the only transportation we've got!"
"No it's not", clarified "Jackal": "You still have the horses, ya' ugly thing!"
He then staggered away laughing a wild hysterical madman's laugh. He went back inside his shed and once again began
singing, “When I Steal the Farm". Finally, it was silent which meant that at last, "Jackal" had passed out from drinking.
"Circles" could see the whole plan of "Jackal". First, he would get rid of him by talking his mother into sending him to some
“philosophy school” in "Sweden" for four years. Second, he would get rid of him for another three years by talking his mother
into having him join the "Air Force". Next, "Jackal" would get rid of him for another six years by talking his mother into
sending him to law school. Last but not least, "Jackal" would use the time that all this left his mother alone and vulnerable, to
steal the farm by marrying his mom.
At least that was "Jackal's" plan. "Circle's" though had a different idea about what the future would be like; but to guarantee
it happened the way "Circle's" wanted, he was totally convinced that he just had to get rid of "Jackal" in any way that he could.
As "Jackal" slept, passed out drunk, "Circles" went to work. First thing he did was tie the trip wire across the bottom of the
door about six inches above the ground. Second, he hammered the two thin pieces of wood on each side of the door's side,
pointing inward to catch "Jackal's" arms, so that he would not get a chance to block his own fall. Third, he went and got the
pointed piece of wood sticking straight up on a wooden stand that would go into "Jackal's" chest: He had already built it. Last
but not least, he climbed through the window and hid, so that when "Jackal" walked through the doorway and tripped, "Circles"
could help the matter by pushing at him from behind.
The time did come when "Jackal" woke up. He slowly rose up as he yawned and finally stretched. At last he rose up and sat
on the bed with his feet on the floor at the bed's side.
"Oh Gosh", he said: "I feel a wee bit uncomfortable; not only from this terrible hangover; but I put my ‘jockey strap’ on backwards when I was drunk. Oh this is dammed uncomfortable. I need to walk up to the liquor store before they close and buy
me some more liquor to drink off my hangover."
"Jackal" rose up from the bed: He walked toward the door and opened it. "Circles" walked
out of his hiding place and ran up to him. At the very moment that "Jackal" started to trip,
"Circles" pushed him from behind to help speed up the fall. At last "Jackal" fell completely
down, not getting a chance to stop his fall with his two snagged arms and the wooden spike
goes completely through him, pointing out of the top of his back.
"Ahhhhh", he screamed; over and over again as the most remarkable thing happened!
To "Circles" absolute astonishment, right at the place where the spike had come out of "Jackal's" back, a horde of green,
round balls, the size of perils started coming out of his back. They just kept rising, higher and higher into the sky until all the
thousands of green, round balls, the size of perils, had left his body and formed a green mass in the sky. There was no blood.
All of a sudden, the face of "Jackal" formed from all the green balls in the sky and screamed at "Circles", "Ya ugly thing!"
Then the wind came and blew away the balls and "Jackal's" face. "Circles" didn't exactly know what "Jackal" was after this;
but he now knew that he was far from normal and was pleased with what he had just done.
Still, it wasn't over. Now he had to deal with the task of hiding the body. He decided that a good place to hide the body would be between the clothesline poles at the middle, underneath the wires. No one ever went underneath the clothesline wires. He watched his mother many times hanging out clothes and she walked beside the wires but never underneath them. When she
hung something on one of the two middle wires, she always reached over to the inside wire but would never lower her head to
step into the center.
The fact of the matter was, that "Jackal's" body was way too big for a child his size to move. It didn't matter though, for he already had that worked out. He walked out the door as he stepped by "Jackal's” body and raced to the barn, opened the door, went inside, then closed it. In a few minutes, he opened the door again and reappeared walking a horse with a saddle and
carrying a rope. He walked the horse so that it would be on the side of the clothes line farthest away from "Jackal's” body,
fastened the rope to the horse’s saddle and ran the rope underneath the clothesline all the way to the body of "Jackal". He tied "Jackal" to the rope.
At this point, he ran back to the horse and started leading the horse as it pulled "Jackal's" body, until it came to rest beneath
the clothesline. He took the rope off of the Horse saddle and "Jackal's" body, wound up the rope and took the horse and rope
back into the barn.
When he reappeared, he had a spade shovel and a steel rake in a wheelbarrow. He dug a whole beneath the clothes line.
He rolled "Jackal's" body into the hole, buried it, filled the hole back up and packed the dirt down. He took the excess dirt and shoveled it into the wheelbarrow. Then, he took the steel rake and raked the dirt level.
When he was finally finished with the hole, he rolled the wheelbarrow away and got rid of the dirt. He brought back the wheelbarrow, the rake and the shovel, put them back in the barn and closed the door.
It was now late. His mother would be home soon but he did not feel like waiting, so he went to bed. It had been a lot of work killing 'Jackal'. He had to set up the door with the spike, make the wooden spike with the stand, make the tripwire, hammer up
the hand-catching boards, hide in his place for a long, boring period and go through all the trouble of burying him.
It was worth it though. The next day there would be no "Jackal" and no more trouble. Whatever “Jackal” was, green balls
and all, he was gone and he didn't have to worry about him anymore.
The next day, "Circles" peered out of his window and saw his mom out by the clothes line, hanging up clothing. He was
absolutely right: His mom didn't even think about the rectangular patch of obviously dug dirt below the clothesline; now level
and raked. Not a thing to worry about; the dirt will slowly harden and sink a little and he'll just get some more dirt to put on top
of it and smooth it out.
Later on that day, when he was sitting on the porch steps, a great thing happened. As he sat there, in the distance he could
see a dog trotting on all fours toward the house. At first, he didn't think anything of it; but as it got closer to him, he came to
realize what dog it was. It was his dog, "Joseph the Third" and it had been missing for about four months. The dog ran up to the porch.
His grandfather, "Joseph", had also been "Circles" dog; but he had been bitten on the nose by a rattlesnake and died.
"Joseph's" first son, "Joseph the second" had also been “Circles” dog; but he made the mistake of thinking that the head of a man with a bald head, pointed at the top, was a hard boiled egg. The man had been sitting on a park bench. "Joseph the second", when he saw the man's head from behind the bench, thought his bald head was a large, hard boiled egg; so he stood up on
his hind legs and bit the man on the top of the head. Outraged, the man stood up, turned and shot him with a pistol.
As the dog ran up to him, "Circles” rose up and yelled with excitement, "‘Joseph’:
The dog happily wagged his tail. He barked with joy and licked his hands.
"Oh 'Joseph'", he said; "It's so good to see you!
"Hey mother; 'Joseph's' back!"
Then he remembered that his mother was gone. Once again she had business; this time a lecture at the university about
the life of her late husband and "Circles" deceased father, "Jonathan Pelican". Once again she wouldn't be home until late, so "Circles" eventually went to sleep.
The next morning, he woke up to the sound of his mother's voice calling for him."Circles", she commanded; "Come down here
He came downstairs and saw his mother standing by the open door. He walked to the door.
"You want to explain this", she asked as she pointed out the door?
"Circles" walked up and peered out the door. What he saw was, below the clothesline, parts of "Jackal's" body had been dug up. The one who had done this was still doing the digging: It was his dog "Joseph the Third", hurriedly racing around the body, digging up dirt with his two front paws and sometimes rushing up to the body and sniffing. Sometimes he slightly wined.
"Well", his mother questioned as he looked up into her face?
Finally "Circles" answered, "It looks as though ‘Joseph the Third’ buried ‘Jackal's’ body and now he's digging it up. He's just a dog. He doesn't know any better. He must have killed him."
"Nonsense", shouted his mom! “Dogs don't bury humans: They only dig them up!
"You did it! You said you were going to do it and you did it! You killed ‘Jackal’ and you buried him under the clothesline. You just don't kill people on my property little mister!
"Since your father died, I haven't had a chance to meet a man. I finally met one and you kill him; and with it, you killed all the splendid things that would have gone with it; the loyalty, devotion, the love, the kindness and sincerity; the fulfillment of having a good and honest man at my side; someone to come home to and someone to bless me with a smile when I got there!
"We're talking about the man who wanted to do good things for you; who wanted to send you to a ‘school of philosophy’ for
four years, put you in the 'Air Force' for three more and at last, send you to law school for six more years. Haven't you got any consideration? To think that he would do this for you and you turn around and kill him!"
"Circles" at this moment interrupted and and insisted, "He wasn't saying those things for me and he wasn't saying those things for you! He was saying those things so that he could get rid of me, to leave you by yourself, so that he could steal the farm!”
"Oh; you jealous little thing", snapped his mother's sharp accusing tongue! “You killed that man out of your jealousy! You
killed him because he was so handsome and when you saw him talking to me, you just couldn't stand the effect he had on a
woman. You wish you had that kind of an effect on females; but you don't know anything about girls and you never will!"
"You got used to looking at him", complained "Circles": “You saw him every single day; and the only reason that you think
that he was attractive is because you got used to looking at him.
"Yes; I killed him: I killed him and I'm glad I did you woman who got used to looking at him!"
"That's it", shouted Mrs. "Pelican" in rage! “I've had all of your snotty little mouth that I can stand.
"Remember what I told you? I told you that if you killed anybody on this property I was going to ground you. You are
grounded for two months snotty, little man!
"But there's more: During those two months, you're going to work at the vegetable stand; selling fruits and vegetables at the vegetable stand!"
"No", Screamed "Circles" in absolute agony; "I hate selling fruits and vegetables at the vegetable stand!
It was four o'clock the next day. “Circles” had just got home from school; and when he said, "Hey mother", she interrupted
him immediately .
Before he could say another word, she growled, "You're grounded; to the vegetable stand; right now! That's all I have to say
She turned and walked away instantly. she was infuriated; but even if she could not see the real reason that she was most frustrated, "Circles" knew what it was. When he got rid of "Jackal", she also felt that he had gotten rid of the only chance she
may ever have of meeting another man under the circumstances and to have him as her lover. Since she did not have time to
go out and meet other men except the locals, she felt that "Circles" had doomed her to permanent loneliness.
It was the slow season so he was already extremely bored. It didn't matter to him if all the fruits and vegetables on "Small Things Farm" were famous for their small size. He had seen them all before. He had sold them all before. He had picked them
all before. He had watered them all before. He had grown them all before. To him, the fruits and vegetables he was selling
were doing all that he thought they were really good for: to sit there and do nothing. The whole purpose to him for their
existence was to give him a boring life.
As he sat there, "Joseph the Third" came up wining, sniffing and wagging his tale.
"Oh, go away", he tells the dog. "You're the reason that I got in trouble: You told on me when you dug up that body."
A few minutes later, a space alien landed his ship and walked up to the vegetable stand. At first, "Circles" was scared; but
after he spoke and handed him a ten dollar bill, "Circles" realized that he was civilized and that he just wanted to buy something.
"Hello young sir", saluted the space alien: "If you don’t mind, I would like to purchase five of your cantaloupes the size of walnuts, two of your watermelons the size of sweet pickles, one of your pumpkins the size of a marshmallow, twenty of your peaches the size of peas and ten of your grapefruits the size of golf balls.
"I just love taking these little bitty fruits and vegetables from 'Small Things Farm'on long space journeys. It makes me feel
like I've got something to fill me up!"
He looks over at "Joseph the Third” and further mentions, “I also like your dog too: Do you think you might like to sell him?"
"Would I ever", thundered the boy out loud! “He got me in trouble. I killed this guy and buried him and he dug up the body
and my mother found it and grounded me. Now I have to work at the vegetable stand selling fruits and vegetables for two
months. My mom also forced me to rebury the body and say that I was sorry to his grave!"
"Oh you poor thing", commented the spaceman. "I bet that guy feels dead all over. He must've done something really bad to have caused a boy of your unaggressive nature to do something like that.
“You have to remember that the dog is not as smart as you. He doesn't seem to understand any of this and seems to wonder why you're rejecting him. If he bothers you that much, why don't you let me take him off your hands?"
It's agreed apon and the boy and the space alien agreed apon a price. For ten dollars, "Joseph the Third" became the
property of the space alien.
Back on his home planet, several month's later, "Parker" the space alien and his new pet dog, "Joseph the Third", sat in "Parker’s” living room. "Circles" would have been surprised to see that the space alien had a fireplace to burn the wood from the kind of trees that grew on "Parker's" home planet "Roan"; but here they both sat by the fireplace and not so different from the
ones on earth in the "United States".
They got along quite well. When "Parker" went on long space journey's, he would always take "Joseph" with him. He gave "Joseph" all the medical care and fed him properly and bathed him when needed.
All this changed for the worse though one day, when "Parker" accidentally left his rear door open, for "Joseph the Third" was
still unfamiliar with the planet. He crept outdoors and wandered for awhile into the woods that were in back of "Parker's" house,
for "Parker" lived in the country, since it was easy to do so in his planet's advanced space age; far beyond that of earth. Vehicles that took off straight up into the air, that anybody could own and with cheap fuel made country living a cinch; but this was not so good for "Joseph", since he soon became lost.
The forest was both peculiar and similar, which meant that there were trees similar to theones on earth and trees that were also very strange looking. The animal noises also made the forest seem both similar and peculiar.
All the strange trees and noises began haunting "Joseph the Third" and he began wining. "Joseph" went behind a log and
sat low, frightened and not knowing what to do. He began listening more for noises. "Joseph", knowing that he was lost felt confused and this made him even more frightened.
He became thirsty and hungry, so finally he left his spot behind the log and began looking for food and water. The forest
was both peculiar and similar, which meant that there were trees similar to the is spot behind the log and began looking for food
or water. Finally he found water. It was a small lake and he drank. The water tasted good, for he hadn't had any for a long time now.
He looked into the water and saw something floating and to his amazement, it looked like a "rib eye steak". He looked around and saw that there more of them floating on the water top. At last, he now thought that he had also found food. He smelled it;
and to his surprise, it smelled more like some kind of a plant instead of a steak.
He was hungry though and decided that these were "rib eye steaks" that just smelled funny. He took a bite; and to his
absolute disgust, the object floating in the water that he thought was a "rib eye steak" tasted horrible and was full of horrible
tasting juice. He tried to blow the juice from the object that he just bit out of his mouth. It would not leave his mouth though
and he could feel the juice going down his throat, almost as if it was crawling and had a mind of it's own. His mouth cringed
from the horrible taste.
After the ordeal had run it's course, he realized that his body felt different. He felt stronger and his mind felt sharper. He looked at his feet and saw that they looked something like different colored chicken's feet, only bigger.
All of a sudden, since his intelligence had increased from the plant, he now remembered his way home. He turned and
headed back home.
When he got there, he saw "Parker" the space alien working in his yard; and of course, he was really only a space alien on earth and other planets and not here on his home planet where he was a natural citizen. When he first saw "Joseph", he smiled; but that smile soon changed into a look of ghostly horror.
"Your feet", screamed "Parker" in frightened emotion; "and your eyes", as he stared in shock at the rings of colors in his
retina going around the pupil! "You have eaten the juice of the ‘Transformation Plant’ and now you are infected with it's disease!
"It's my fault", he moaned: "I left the door open and you went out not knowing what you were doing! You are only an earth
dog and a dog does not know any better. This is the reason I never took you anywhere while you were here; because the backwoods dangers are so much worse than on your own planet."
He reached down to his strapped laser pistol and removed it from his holster as he continued, "Now, I have no choice to but
to kill you. It's the only thing that can be done. There is no cure for this disease you now have infected yourself with, even
withour modern technology. It is the best and most decent thing that I can do for you and it is the best thing that I can do for
others, for it is only a matter of time before you start killing our fellow citizens.”
He rose his space pistol and pointed it at "Joseph". Without even thinking about it, "Joseph the Third", before "Parker" could
fire the pistol, leaped completely over "Parker's" head instantly and landed on the very top of the slanted roof. He turned all the way around and looked at "Parker" in a fraction of a second. He saw "Parker" raise his pistol again and instantly leaped
off the roof before he could fire it, on the opposite side of where "Parker" had been standing and disappeared into the woods.
An hour later, he heard a space vehicle hovering overhead. He looked up and recognized it as "Parker's". He was now out looking for him. "Joseph" quickly hid in some bushes under some trees which seemed difficult for a space vehicle to fly through. There he waited until he figured that he was gone.
After he left, he saw an animal and leaped at it, caught it, killed it and to "Joseph's" surprise at his own behavior, did not eat it. Instead, he sucked the blood out of the animals body; and to "Joseph's” absolute astonishment, he formed a yellow ring around
his body parallel to the ground.
"Joseph" turned and started to leave but was halted by a vision. In the background, he saw a figure running toward him. As
the figure got closer, he recognized it and realized it as "Parker". He had decided to land his ship and look for "Joseph" on the ground and was now running toward him, holding a pistol in his hand.
"Joseph" turned away from him for a moment and saw something that he had never seen before. There, in the sky, about ten feet above the ground, was a giant hole which was the entrance of some kind of dark tunnel that slanted up toward the sky.
Once again, he leaped the same way he had leaped onto “Parker’s” roof to escape “Parker” and landed inside the tunnel.
He turned back toward the entrance and saw "Parker" standing as he said,"'Joseph': I don't know where you went to; but I
know that you can here me. If you went into one of those holes in the sky that are close to the ground and are the entrance to a tunnel, those are wormholes and their tunnels will be your new existence if you don't listen to me. At first they will not bother you; but the more you travel in them, the more they will produce an absolute misery and deep dark depression.
"What has happened to you, is you have bitten a plant known as a 'transformation plant' and have swallowed it's juice; and it has turned you into a kind of creature known as a 'transformation beast'. Once you swallow the plant's juice and become this creature, there is no cure.
"The 'transformation beast' lives by traveling from one planet to the next, by entering space wormholes and traveling through
it's space worm tunnels to kill the different animals on the different planets, including intelligent life such as humans, so that it
may live by sucking the blood out of them. Every time one of these creatures sucks the blood out of one of these animals, they
will get a colored ring around theirself on their fur or skin if they don't have fur, horizontal to the ground, that will be the same
color as the blood that they sucked out of the animal. I saw that you had a yellow ring. That is because you have killed a
creature from this planet and on this planet, all the creatures have yellow blood. If you killed a creature on earth, you would get
a red ring around you also, because on your planet, the color of the blood is red. A 'skimp man' from the planet 'venus' has pink blood and will give you a pink ring; an animal called a 'clunky' from the planet 'Bloose', an orange ring, since their blood is orange.
"A 'transformation beast' is actually able to see these wormholes and worm tunnels and can sense where they are, just like
a homing pigeon on earth, that can be transferred many miles away in a dark box and still find it's way back home. This is even
more so for a 'transformation beast'; for he too can find his way back to his original home by instinctively traveling through the correct space wormholes. If he goes back to his home planet, he will not be the same as before he left, but instead he will be
this beast. He will not lose his original body; but he will lose the original color of his fur or skin.
"Here what I say and here it well, for it may be your last chance: If I caught the 'transformation disease' I would gladly raise
my own gun to my own head and rid myself of my own life rather than to victimize all the creatures that I would face and produce such misery for them and for myself. You need to come to me instantly and let me dispose of you so that you and all who you
will meat will not suffer.
"I know you have heard me and I know you have understood me, for I am well aware that the ailment increases your
intelligence immediately into an extremely high capacity, far above an ordinary earth dog or the mankind of the planet you
came from; so return to me and let me put you out of your misery that is due to come to you and swallow you!"
"Joseph the third" with dread and fear flowing through his body, turned and fled. There was no such thing as a beast that
would return to be put out of his misery and especially if that misery had not come yet. This was especially true of how he felt
at the moment, for he was far more stronger and intelligent than he had ever been before.
"Joseph" now had entered a new life; space wormhole traveling; colored circles around his pupil in his retina and colored
circles around his body, parallel with the ground and the sucking of different colors of blood to make those circles; killing to
survive; no dog food.
Traveling through the space worm tunnels, he went to a few planets before returning to earth, killed and sucked the blood of
a few creatures and finally found himself back on "Small Things Farm". His appearance had changed so much, that he was no longer recognizable.The rings around his fur and his pupil made him look like a completely different dog; unlike any ever seen before on earth.
He walked up to "Circles" as he sat on the porch. "Circles” jumped up, ran off the porch and ran to him.
"Wow; What a fantastic dog" he exclaimed as he began petting him! "Look at all those colors and those colored rings in his eyes! Where did you come from? I never saw a dog like you before. You're a wonder dog!
"I'm going to call you 'Colorflash' after all your colors: You're '"Colorflash" the wonder dog';
and from now on you're mine!
"Are you hungry? Want something to eat? I'll go get you something."
"Circles" ran into the house; and when he came back out, he had a can of dog food in a bowl. He walked down the steps
and set the bowl in front of what he thought was his new dog "Colorflash", failing to realize that he was really only a new version
of his old dog, "Joseph the Third".
He petted him for a brief moment and said, “There ya' go buddy. You'll like this real good.
"O.K. I have to go to the vegetable stand and start work. I killed this guy and my mom found out. To punish me, she's
grounded me for two months and for those two months, she's making me work at the vegetable stand! Isn't that awful?
"I'll see you later."
He turned and walked away.
"Circles" soon couldn't help but notice that his new dog "Colorflash" was a strange dog. Over the course of the next couple of days, "Circles" had left food out for his dog "Colorflash" several times; every morning and every evening and not one time did he eat any of it. In spite of this, he never lost or gained weight. He had also noticed, that there was a new colored circle around
him; this time red. Another strangeness is that he seemed to be non-emotional: He never barked or wined or licked his hand.
He also couldn’t help but see, that he always seemed to be missing after it got dark but would see him coming back in the
One morning on a saturday when he was home from school and watching the news, he heard on television that a couple of people had been found dead on two separate occasions and each time the newsman said that the victim had been killed by
some kind of an animal that had left teeth marks similar to a dog's. Each time, all the blood had been sucked from the person's body. Each time, he remembered that he had seen his new dog "Colorflash" going off in the direction of the killings on the same night, just before the killings took place.
He imagined in his mind, his own dog committing the murders but then dismissed the thought as an absurdity and pushed it aside. Dogs just didn't suck the blood out of humans and only wild dogs ilke wolves and coyotes ever ate them. To think that "Colorflash" had been the one behind any kind of a killing would be ridiculous. Still, the reasoning didn't explain why "Colorflash" would leave the house every night and on the nights of the killings, leave in the same direction of the killings and just before the killings.
Then one morning, his mother came into his bedroom and woke him up as she said,
"Time to get up 'Circles'!"
"Circles" looked at the clock and then said, "Aw mother; it's only four o'clock in the morning. Why so early?"
"We're going to 'New York City' to your aunt ‘Guts’, she answered.
"At least you could have told me ahead of time", he growled. "If we go, may I take '"Colorflash" the wonder dog'?"
"You certainly may" she answered.
After he became ready, he went outside to find his dog. It was now 5:30 in the morning. He looked around but did not find
him. He checked everywhere. At last though, he saw him running
in the distance coming home.
They all got in the the old flatbed farm truck and drove away. As they drove, they passed a farmhouse with a number of
sheriff cars parked in the driveway, on the side of the road in front of the house and across the street on the side of the road.
On the mailbox was the name, "DROOP".
"Circles" turned on the radio and the news was on; and to his utmost surprise, the radio newsman said, "Last night there was another one of the strange killings in the vicinity of "'Bowling Pin' New York'", where some kind of an unknown animal with dog's teeth sucked the blood out of his alleged victim. So far, this makes a total of ten killings under these exact same circumstances; that is, where an animal with doglike teeth sucked the blood out of his victim.
"The name of 'corpse number ten' was 'Alexander Droop'. He had been at home alone while the rest of his family were at
a 'meatball making contest'. He was the father of the household and he has left behind, Mrs. 'Cindy Droop', and twenty-two children; all of them at the 'meatball making contest'. His children are,'Alex', 'Bex', 'Blex', 'Brex', 'Chex' 'Dex', 'Ex', 'Fex','Frex',
'Flex', 'Hex', 'Jex', 'Lex', 'Pex', 'Plex', 'Rex', 'Snex', 'Slex' 'Tex', 'Vex', 'Wex' and 'Zex'.
“In her confused frustration, Mrs. ‘Droop’ has announced that she hopes that the killer is found, properly punished, has shown sympathy for the family members of other victims and has also apologized to the public for the strangeness of her childrens' names."
"Circles" thought about how he had seen "Colorflash" that morning coming back home by way of the direction where the
murder of "Alexander Droop" had taken place. He also thought about the two times when he had seen him leave the house
and go off in the direction of where the newsman had said a killing had occurred. He could tell out of the corner of his eye that
the dog, who was sitting between him and his mother, was looking at him but was afraid to look at him, for he now had spent enough time with him to know that he was extremely intelligent and was afraid that he would see that he was suspicious.
Was this dog the killer? After all; when he saw him he did not know anything about him and he had not known it very long;
at least it appeared that way, since he did not know that it was “Joseph the Third”. Plus, he was such an unusual dog, with
colored rings in his retinas going around his pupils and colors circling his body in a horizontal fashion. Then there were the chicken's feet: Why did he have four large feet similar to a chicken with different colors?
He was afraid to turn off the radio immediately because he was afraid that the dog might catch on that he was relating him to
the killings and trying to hide it; so he changed the channel. He listened to the radio for a few minutes on a music channel and finally turned it off.
He was afraid to look at his mom to try and see if she also expected anything because he would have to look in the same direction as "Colorflash" and was afraid that he might see that he was on to him or at least knew that he may had done
Soon they arrived in "New York City" at the home of his aunt “Guts". She had also seen the news about the strange murders in her sister's hometown of "'Bowling Pin', 'New York'". She
was also more than willing to provide her own theories of what had taken place to her sister "Kathryn" and her nephew "Circles" and also looked at "'Colorflash' the Wonderdog" and talked
to him at the same time and thus talked to all of them.
"I don't think a dog would do that", she said. “I think it was an undertaker addicted to embalming. He killed these people with
a hand puppet of a dog with strong teeth, maybe made of hard dental plastic or ivory. Then he used an undertakers embalming machine to suck out all the blood but then he never put the embalming fluid in because he didn't want to spend money on embalming fluid. This was a ‘penny-pincher undertaker’ addicted to embalming who did this!"
That night, when everyone had gone to bed, "Circles" would witness a most amazing thing. Since there was only one bed
for his aunt “Guts" and another bed for his mother, "Circles" had to sleep in the living room on the couch and "Colorflash" slept
on the living room floor.
At about two in the morning, "Circles" woke up. To his astonishment, as he laid there with his eyes open and only the kitchen light nearby to slightly light up the darkened living room, he saw "Colorflash" walk up to a small stool in the living room, grab it
with his mouth, carry it with his mouth to the front door and quietly set it upward by the front door. He then stood up and put his
two front paws on the stool, leaped his two rear legs onto the stool after and following this, he stood up with his front paws
pressing against the door. Next, he grabbed the latch lock and unlatched the door. He lowered himself back down so that once again, all four of his colored chicken feet were again standing on the seat of the stool. Once again, he used his mouth; this time,
to turn the inner finger bar of the double bolt lock, which locked from the outside with a key and the inside with the finger bar.
He turned the finger bar and unlocked the double bolt. Now, with one lock left. he grabbed the doorknob lock's inner finger bar with his mouth again and turned it and now unlocked the doorknob lock. Thus finished, he had unlocked all three locks of the
front door; the latch lock, the double bolt lock and the doorknob lock.
He jumped back off of the stool, grabbed the stool and pooled it back slightly and very quietly on the rug underneath. He took a few steps back to the door, stood up again with his front paws against the door, grabbed the doorknob with his mouth, walked backward on his hind legs and opened the door.
He was about to run out but then turned around and saw "Circles" watching him, who was now sitting up. He ran up to "Circles", rose up with his front legs by placing one of his frontal chicken-like feet on each one of his knees. He stretched his
neck forward to bring his face up to "Circles's" face and violently snarled in "Circles's" face, making a low sounding growl; low enough so that his aunt “Guts" and his mother would not hear him.
Fear ran through "Circles's" body and he thought for sure that "Colorflash" was going to do something to him; but then he dropped his front chicken feet back to the ground, turned and ran out the front door.
It had only been a warning: "Keep your mouth shut or die!"
"Circles", still did not know anything about "'Colorflash' the Wonderdog". He was a complete mystery to him. but he did know one thing: He was the one that had been doing the killings.
He was also positive that "Colorflash" was not coming back either. He now knew that he had come to his house to use it as some kind of a base to stay and launch his attacks. At night he would go out and attack people and in the morning come back
and wait till it was time to do it again. Now that he was in "New York City", he had just what he wanted; all the people to kill
that he wanted and plenty of places to hide.
He could have killed him, his mom or his aunt or maybe all three of them but never did. At least he had that to be grateful for.
Twenty minutes later, "'Colorflash' the Wonderdog" showed up at a large park in "New York City” and scans the area with his eyes. He was looking for someone, for he was becoming quite hungry. HIs last victim was the night before; and since he was in reality, no longer a dog but instead a "transformation beast", he had eaten none of the dog food or any of the other kinds of food put in front of him by "Circles".
It didn't take too long for someone to come along. It was a man drunk on alcohol. In his hand was a large round bottle. "Colorflash" realized that the man was way too large for him to tangle with directly. The man was seven feet, four inches tall and was very overweight. In spite of him being stronger, faster and far more intelligent since he ate the "transformation plant” and in spite of him being bigger than most dogs, he was nevertheless no "Saint Barnard" or "great dane".
He decided he would make the man chase him until he ran out of breath and became too tired to fight: Then he would turn
He devised a plan and went into action. "Colorflash" ran up to the man and snatched the wine bottle out of the man's hand
with his mouth and took off running; slow enough for the man to keep up if he chased him but fast enough not to get caught.
"Hey, you dirty rotten dog", hollered the man! "Come back here you rotten mutt!
After "Colorflash" took the bottle, the man began chasing him just as he planned.Clumsy and drunk, thinking he was the
pursuer and not the pursued, he chased in absolute anger. He had no expectation at all, that that's exactly what "Colorflash" wanted.
"When I get my hands on you, you'll be a dog no more", he yelled!
As "Colorflash" ran just slow enough to have the man chase him and just fast enough so that he never would catch him, he noticed to the side of him an area that would be extremely difficult for a man of his size to move around in. The reason was, there were a lot of things to get in his way. There were a couple of statues, a drinking fountain, a flower bed wall on one side up to the man’s knees, a couple of small trees, small bushes, a bench, etc.
Plus, it was difficult for people to see, should anyone come by.
He turned and ran to the clustered up area and the man followed. By now, he was out of breath and breathing heavily.
Sweat was coming from his face and the exertion combined with the drunkenness was making him more and more clumsy.
"Colorflash" ran toward a large stone. He leaped over it and the man banged his toe into it and tripped over it, as he chased right behind him. He made an attempt to stay on his feet by lifting his foot up and placing it on the ground on the other side of
the stone but it was too late. He tried to lift up the upper part of his body as it fell forward and his legs continued to run below
him; but eventually the gravity beat him and he fell on his stomach.
He rolled over onto his back as he brought his leg up toward his stomach, reached down and grabbed his injured toe with both hands.
"Oh how awful: This hurts terribly", he screamed! "Oh; my big toe feels awful!"
As he laid there on his back, holding his toe and groaning, all of a sudden the dog appeared in his face. He saw his eyes
and the colored rings around them.
"What on earth are you", he asked? I never saw a dog like you before and I dare might say, you're a little bit freaky looking! "
"Colorflash" put his face a little closer to his. Finally, he snarled and showed all his horrible teeth. As the man's eyes bulged with drunken fear and he gasped a frightened gasp, "Colorflash" moved in and took out the neck. Then he drank his blood.
Of course, there was a witness to all that had taken place. Standing in a dark shadow stood "Meanie"; the notorious hustler
of the criminal underworld. Never amounting to much and disliked by nearly everyone who knew him, when called apon by his criminal superiors who also hated him, he was always there; for his needs only.
There were also honest people who disliked him. "Snickers", the church organist didn't like
him and said that the devil sat in a driver's seat inside his head behind a steering wheel. Another man who did not like him and
who regarded himself as musically inclined was "Richard", the organ grinder. He complained that sometimes when his monkey came up to people to get quarters to pay him for his organ grinding talent, "Meanie" would snatch up the quarter first if he was secretly watching and then would walk away laughing. There was also a policeman who claimed that one time when "Meanie" came up and started talking to him, after he left, he found his wallet missing.
"Meanie" noted as he watched, "Oh a blood drinker eh? That blood drinker's a mighty smart dog: I'd kind of like to have
that blood drinker. Maybe he could work for me!"
"Colorflash" left the park. He no longer could go home, for it would bring trouble. Now that "Circles" knew what he was, he would have no choice but to kill him, his mother and his aunt “Guts" if he went back where they were at and he knew it would be difficult to get out of the building. There were too many people around. There was a night guard behind the desk at the front
and two more who walked with walkie-talkies. Should one member in the aunt “Guts” household scream, it was most likely that
a neighbor through the thin walls of the apartment
would hear it.
As far as getting blood, it was much easier to get it at night, when most people were at home, in a place with no one around
but the victim and no witnesses.
He was very tired. There was still one trait that he had carried forth from when he was a real dog: He still needed sleep. He would have to find a place to rest. He now had the ability to leap extremely high and thought about leaping up onto the roof of a one or two story building; but he was too afraid that someone would see what he could do from another building and bring him trouble. It was his first night completely on his own anyway, since he returned to “Small Things Farm”, so he had to expect some roughness. He would probably find a bad place to sleep the first night and a better one as time went on.
About an hour later, he found some bushes at a tall office building. He looked inside as he passed the main entrance and
saw there was a security guard behind a desk; but he would be looking for men who did wrong and not dogs. He could not see
him since he was too low to the ground, wouldn't expect nothing anyway and didn't look very active anyhow. He was overweight and watching a t.v. right next to the security guard's t.v. for checking all the security cameras in the building. “Colorflash” went
into the bushes and laid down and went to sleep.
All of a sudden he wakes up when he hears the sound of a click. Someone had just snapped a locking collar around his neck. He looks up and sees "Meanie" for the first time, as he backed a few feet away.
Just as he was thinking of attacking this new person in his view, "Meanie" told him, "Don't get any ideas dog and you'd better hear what I have to tell you if you want to live. I saw what you could do in the park; how you killed that guy and how well you
plan; so I decided to make preparations for you to work for me. I also know you can understand what I'm saying."
"Now; see this collar" he questioned as he held a second dog collar up? "This collar is just like the one that I snapped
around your neck and does all the same things; so before you get any ideas, I want you to see what is around your neck.
"Meanie" takes the second collar and tosses it a number of feet feet away. He then holds up his hand and in his hand is
some kind of an electronic device with two buttons and a few small colored lights. He pushes one of the buttons and the collar explodes on the ground, blowing a hole in the ground as it sends some debris flying and smokes.
"Meanie" Said furthermore, "Don't underestimate that explosion. If that collar that I just exploded had been around your neck,
it would have blown your head completely off. Now here in my other hand, I’ve already pulled out the remote for the collar that's around your own neck. If I push the button that's in the exact same place as the button on this identical remote that I just
pushed, that would be the end of you.
"Now, on this here remote that goes to the collar that you are wearing; I want you to see what happens when I push the
"Meanie" pushes the second button. This time, a light on "Colorflashes" new dog collar starts flashing and a beeping noise starts. "Meanie" lets the flashing and the beeping continue a few seconds and pushes the second button a second time. The flashing and the beeping both stop.
"This is a signal", "Meanie" continues: "When I push this second button, the light on your collar will always start flashing and
the beeper will always start beeping to signal you and let you know that I want you to come to me. Anytime this light on your
collar flashes and you hear the beeping, you are to come meet me here directly across the street. If you are not there in ten minutes, I will push the second button and blow your head off. I mean every word that I say and when you come to me, you will
do everything that I say, exactly as I say.
“If you understand and I already know that you do, then there is one ‘English’ human word and only one, that a dog's
speaking equipment is capable of saying and that is 'Ralph'. If you fully understand what I am saying, then I want you
to say, 'Ralph'.”
"Colorflash" looked straight directly into "Meanie's" face as he barked very loudly, "R-R-R-R-Ralph!"
"Well done", stated "Meanie". “From now on, anytime I want to ask you if you understand something, you say 'Ralph'; but if I want you to answer a 'yes' or 'no' question, then 'Ralph' will mean 'yes' and a regular dog's bark will mean 'no'.
"I can see that a dog like you is undoubtedly going to be homeless, since no one would trust you not to kill them; so I won't
be able to give you a place either, since you might also kill me. This is especially true in my case, since I have now given you reason to kill me, by placing that collar around your neck and making you my slave.
"Don't worry: I'll let you go out and suck your blood and do your strange things. Nevertheless, no matter how you look at it, you're mine now. I own you.
"I have to go now, so don't forget: When you hear that beeping on your collar, you meet me across the street in ten minutes
or I'll push the first button on my remote and blow your head off.
"I'll see you later."
"Meanie" turned and walked away. After he got far enough not to hear, "Colorflash", looking at "Meanie", growled as he
snarled his horrible, vicious teeth and thought to himself, "Patience is not cowardly; but only patient, for the sake of carrying out bravery with wisdom and timing."
A few days later during the night, "Colorflash" saw the beeping light of his collar reflecting on the asphalt he was walking on
and heard the beep. He was receiving his first signal from "Meanie" pushing the second button on his remote for signaling "Colorflashes" collar. He knew that if he didn't go, "Meanie" would push the first button and make the collar that he had put
around his neck blow up; so he went to meet him. He ran to the spot across the street from the bushes at the building where
he had been sleeping and there he stood.
"Well now", said "Meanie" as he held the remote to "Colorflashes" collar; "I'm glad to see you're in a cooperative mood.
After all; you've got work to do.”
He reached into his shirt pocket and took out a dark pair of black rimmed sunglasses. Next, he reached behind a tree beside him and when he brought his hand back, he had a white cain with a red tip.
As he snapped a dog leash onto "Colorflashes" new collar, he said, "We have to make things look legitimate. Dogs are only allowed on the subway when they are seeing eye dogs for the blind; so I'm going to pretend to be blind and you're going to
pretend to be my seeing eye dog: Understand?”
"R-R-R-R-R-R-Ralph", barked "Colorflash"!
"Good", said "Meanie". “Let's go."
"Meanie" walked "Colorflash" to the subway. They boarded it and rode it to a good neighborhood. After they departed the
train and train platform, "Meanie" walked "Colorflash" to a mansion, where they both stood on the outside of it, on the street's sidewalk.
"Listen here you", said "Meanie": "It's time for me to get bossy and it's time for you to do as I say. See this mansion here?"
"R-R-R-R-R-Ralph", barked "Colorflash"!
"Good", commented "Meanie"; "and don't forget: I have the remote to blow your head off with that dog collar I put around
"Now, this is what we're going to do: When I used to be a bartender at an expensive night -club, this extremely rich man was one of it's regular patrons. He told me a number of times when he was drunk, that he could never go to sleep with the bulge of
his unbelievably thick wallet full of gorgeous money pressing against him in his pocket, so he always takes it out and leaves it
on the dresser. That means that he always goes home and passes out without taking his clothes off because he is too drunk;
but he does take his wallet out and put it on the dresser. I know where he puts it because one night when he was very drunk
as usual, the owner of the nightclub called a cab for him and the cab refused him because he said that he was too drunk and
he'd been a problem the last time.
"The owner had me drive him home. I drove his car onto his property. I helped him up to his room and I saw where he puts
his wallet every time he gets drunk. I also know that he always leaves the door of his house unlocked.
"His room is the one on the second floor up there in front of you, on the right side with the light on and his car is in the
"Now I have a problem here: I am too fat to run, too fat to jump and too fat to climb, which means that I could never commit a burglary; even for something as small as a wallet.
"But you can and this is what you're going to do: You are going to jump this fence here and use your mouth to open up the
front door. Then, you are going to go into the house, go up to his room, take his wallet and bring it back to me.
"R-R-R-R-R-R-Ralph", barked "Colorflash"!
"Meanie" remarked, "That's good: Now, get going!"
So, "Colorflash" did all that he was told to do: He jumped the fence, opened the door, went up the stairs, opened the
bedroom door and saw the old drunk patron of the nightclub that "Meanie" used to work at. He was lying on the bed but was
"Hey; who are you", the man demanded?
"Colorflash", barked very loudly, "R-R-R-R-R-R-Ralph!"
"Oh", replied the man.
His eyes then rolled back into his head. He tilted his head backward and dropped it onto the bed. He passed out.
"Colorflash" looked over onto the dresser. Sure enough, there was the man's wallet, just like "Meanie" had told him. "Colorflash" walked over to the dresser, grabbed the wallet with his mouth, turned and left the room. He exited the house,
jumped back over the fence and dropped the wallet in front of "Meanie's" feet.
"Meanie" snorted through the cholesterol on his face, "Good! That was very good. I'm proud of you boy! You have proven yourself, fast, efficient and reliable. Now I know you are good enough to be called my dog. Congratulations!"
"Meanie" started to bend over and pick up the wallet but then he remembered the dog. He looked at "Colorflash" and saw
the look in his eyes.
"Oh, no you don't", declared "Meanie" as he held the remote up in his hand: "I know that just because you're good enough to
be my dog, doesn't necessarily mean that it's voluntary because you don't appreciate it. I have to use this remote to keep you in line because you think you're too good to be my servant.
"You're thinking that you can attack me when I'm stooped over. Now you back up ten feet so that I can pick up this wallet or
I'll press that first button and blow you to smithereens!"
"Colorflash" turned around and ran back ten feet , turned back around and "Meanie" bent over and picked up the wallet.
He stood up, opened it and peered inside, still clinging safely to the remote.
"Oh, this is good", he said. "This is really good! I like this a lot. I like this more than I like you! You're not only my favorite
slave but you're the only one that I own!
"Now you know the rules: Anytime you see the flashing coming from the collar I put around your neck and hear the beep,
you meet me across the street from where you sleep or I'll press this button and blow you up!
“In the future, I’ll have bigger and better plans for you, which will make the work you do for mefar more economical. Your services to me will be so fabulous, that if you don’t get killed doing work for me, you’ll make me into a multimillionaire.
"I'll see you later."
"Meanie" turned and walked away as he left "Colorflash" there standing.
Of course, if "Meanie" could watch "Colorflash" without being seen the first time he saw him, that also meant that someone could watch "Meanie" without being seen the first time they saw "Meanie"; and "Colorflash" as well. In the dark shadows stood
an elderly woman, nobody knew how old, named "'Long-fingers' the witch". "'Long-fingers' the witch" knew that people called
her by that name, didn't mind and wore the name proudly, for after all, she had very long fingers and she was a witch. She had heard every single word that was said by "Meanie", had even heard "Colorflash" say "Ralph" and therefore knew everything that had taken place. She did not need to see "Colorflash" take the man's wallet for she had heard "Meanie" instruct "Colorflash"
to do so.
She went home and stood before the "Wall of All Visions" and asked the wall to show her all the activities of the man she
had seen that night and to tell her his name. To her amazement, there were hordes of robberies, some murders and hustling
of every kind. She saw that he was truly a criminal and perhaps the worst low thing she had ever seen.
"Good heavens", she exclaimed out loud: "This man is so low, that even I can call him a criminal and I'm a witch!"
She asked the "Wall of All Visions" to show her three men who "Meanie" had cheated once again. One, he had formed a business partnership with so that he could take the business away from him, which he did; but then it went out of business because the partner who he took it from knew how to run it but "Meanie" did not, so it folded. Another man he had picked his pocket the day before the man’s rent was due and he had gotten him thrown out on the street. On a third man, he had sold his mother as a professional storyteller in a foreign slave market; but when the buyer found out that she couldn't talk, he fed her to
his pet crocodiles.
"Even I wouldn't do some of the things this man has done", she gasped: “This is too weird. I have to get out for awhile."
She left home and went for a walk. It was dark out and there was always danger in the dark. She wasn't worried though.
She was a witch and she brought her wand anyway. If someone messed with her, she'd turn them into a cracker so that the morning due could make them soggy and so the birds could eat them in the afternoon after they dried.
As she walked, she noticed a large, heavyset man in the distance, staring at her in her direction. As she got closer, she
realized that it was none other than "Meanie", the man that she had seen do the wallet burglary earlier in the night. He was standing on the sidewalk. She knew from earlier that the dog was no longer with him. As she came upon him, all of a sudden,
he stood in front of her.
She stopped on the sidewalk as she asked, "What do you want and why have you deliberately stood in front of me?”
He blurted out rudely, "What do I want? Why, I can't pass up an opportunity like this! A little old lady walking down the
sidewalk late at night with no protection? What do I want? Why; I'm going to take your money: That's what I want!"
"Two times in one night", she uttered in question? “Don't you think that that's getting a little greedy?
"What do you mean by that", he inquired?
"This is what I mean", she snapped: “Earlier on in the night, I saw you with that dog that had the rings of colors around him.
I was close enough to you at the house where you sent the dog in to steal that wallet and I heard everything you said. I even
heard the dog say,'Ralph'! I know the whole story: I saw it all.”
"Meanie" retorted, "Why, 'Little Miss Grannie Wrinkle Rat’; you surprise me! Here I thought you were only going to be a
mugging and it turns out that you're also an assassination! You don't want to ever tell anybody that you know that they
committed a crime. Especially in a dark spot of a dark street like this. Don't you realize that you have just turned this spot into
a murder scene? How foolish of you!"
"I wouldn't be too sure of that", she rebuffed. "I'm a witch you know. I'm not as helpless as I look.”
"Only helpless enough to tell me a thing like that", he answered back, "because you know dammed well that you're
defenseless; and I hate to have to tell you; but even your lying tongue's defenseless because it just doesn’t lie cleaver
enough! Witches are make believe.”
"Defenseless huh", she bellowed! "Well; we'll see about that!”
She took her magic wand and tapped "Meanie" on the shoulder and changed him into a roll of toilet paper, wrapped and
with the brand name, "Affection". At first she was going to put him in a public toilet booth on a toilet paper roller but changed
her mind. Instead she picked him up and carried him home and once home, she put him in a large cage.
As anyone would naturally be, when she changed him back he was highly confused. He looked about him trying to make
sense of what he was seeing and trying to remember how he
"Where on earth am I", he questioned?
"Do you really want to Know", asked "Long-Fingers”? "You're in my home, in a large cage,
with no control over your life."
He stared into her face but was silent. He reached his hand into his left pocket and felt the remote.
"Have nothing to say", she inquired? "That's very unusual for a mouth like yours! You were so talkative and so sure of
yourself before I put you in that cage; but now you are reduced to what you really are; a blabbermouth hustler with a drinking problem. As fat and as big as you are, your guilt still weighs more than you do.”
He answered back, "Oh come on now: I really wasn't going to rob you. I was only funnin'
with ya': teasing you some. I didn't really mean what I said.”
"You think you fool me", she asked? "Just turn around and take a look on the wall behind you.”
"Meanie" turned around and there was the "Wall of All Visions". He stared at it; and as he did, he saw his entire life pass
before him. Though it seemed as if it was an hour, it was really only a few seconds. All the crimes that he had committed had passed before him and he was stunned.
He looked at her and said to her, "My word; you really are a witch!"
"Welcome to reality fool", she insulted bitterly! "Us witches do exist, which you thought otherwise but now you know better!
You haven't got a chance against me unless I give you one and I don't want to!
"I have a special treat in store for you. There were three men in the "Wall of All Visions" that you saw that you hustled. The first, you had started a business with so that you could take his business away from him. The second, you pick-pocketed him
the day before his rent was due and as a result, he got thrown out on the street. The third, you sold his mother into slavery in
a foreign country, saying that she was 'professional storyteller'.
"Well, guess what? You are about to meet all three of them!"
She waved her magic wand and all three men had appeared.
"As they all looked around confusingly, she said to them, "Don't be confused. I am a witch; and I have brought you here here
to fix this guy's wagon for trying to mug me!
"Now; I want you to all to take a good look at him. Do any of you remember him?”
The first man said, "Yes; I do. He formed a partnership in a business so that he could take the business away from me
and he did!"
Next, the second man spoke, saying, "I also remember him. He sold my mother into a foreign slave market as a ‘professional storyteller’. When the buyer found out that she couldn't speak, he fed her to his crocodiles! I remember him alright and it's all
Last, the third man said, "I remember him too: he pick-pocketed me the day before my rent was due and got me thrown out onto the street!”
"Well; I'm so glad that you all remember him”, she mentioned, “because you're going to chase him and you're going to get a chance to get even with him. First though, I have to make some adjustments."
She walked over to the cage and told "Meanie", "I'm going to change you into something that anybody can handle."
She pointed her magic wand at "Meanie" and he changed into an egg, with an egg body about a foot and a half in length, standing erect, with a pair of arms and a pair of legs like a human, though not looking like humanarms and legs very much.
When including the length of his legs, he was more like four feet tall.
She pointed her magic wand at a spot outside the cage and a mirror appeared, directly in front of "Meanie".
"Take a peek", she said to him.
He peered into the mirror; and after the shock of what he saw traveled his face, he shouted, "I'm an egg!"
"That right", said "Long-Fingers"; "and as I've said, I've changed you into something that anybody can handle. In spite of
your size as a big egg, your egg shell is no thicker than a regular egg, which means that you're still easy to break. Anybody
can break you.”
She waves her wand again and a knife appears in "Meanies" hand. He raises the knife up and looks at it and after, looks at "Long-Fingers" confusingly.
"Puzzled are you", she asked? "Now don't you worry: I put that knife in your hand for a reason and you'll know what it is for soon enough."
One thing that "'Long-Fingers' the Witch" had forgotten about and paid no attention to, is that "Meanie" still held the remote
in his other hand. He had his hand in his pocket on it when she changed him to an egg and for some reason, the remote stayed the same and remained in his hand. He was hoping that he could force "Colorflash" to somehow help him against her once he signaled him, if he could reach their meeting spot.
She turns and looks at the other three men who "Meanie" had cheated and told them, "Now as I told you, this guy that you
all know so well; this 'Meanie' here, tried to mug me and I'm going to fix his wagon and you three shall be that instrument for revenge. What that means is, I'm going to give you all a chance to get even with this guy for what he has done to you. You are going to get a chance to chase him down and catch him and break him. Once you break him, that's the end of him.
"I want this to be a fair chase though. What that means is, I'm going to have to change the three of you into the same thing
that he is."
She pointed her wand at them and they all three became eggs, the same size, shape and appearance as "Meanie" had become. They also had the same kinds of arms and legs.
She pointed her magic wand at the mirror and it scooted across the floor, directly in front of the three men. They all looked
into it and at each other.
"Now, you see here you three", she told them; "If you want your regular bodies back, you're going to have to earn it. The only way I will restore your bodies back to the way they were, before I had changed them into eggs, is if you chase down "Meanie"
here, break him and kill him. Once you do this, I will restore your bodies back to their original human form.
One of the eggs said, "If I get a chance to get even with 'Meanie' for selling my mother into slavery to that man that owned the pet crocodiles, then I'm more than happy to be an egg!"
"Me too", said the man who "Meanie" had taken a business away from.
"I'm also happy to be an egg for a reason like this", said the man who "Meanie" had pick-pocketed.
"So, I'm glad to see that you three are in such high spirits", she announced. “Let the chase begin!"
She waved her wand and the cage disappeared. Once it was gone, "Meanie" fled to the door. Since he did not know where
he was, except for the fact that he was on the witches property of some sort, he did not know where he was at or what was
ahead. He opened the door and ran out.
"Get him", hollered one of the eggs!
All three eggs began to chase after "Meanie", who was also now an egg. Soon they had passed through the door and saw "Meanie" running ahead.
As they ran down a street and a man yelled, "Eggs!"
The man dived into the gutter and covered his head until all the eggs had ran by and got far enough ahead for him to feel safe before getting back up. Everywhere that the eggs passed, people began to panic and run in every direction and scramble for safety.
Still holding the remote, as "Meanie” ran, he decided that it was time to contact "'Colorflash' the Wonderdog" and make him
help him. If he wouldn't, he would blow him up with the remote. The problem was, the only way for "Colorflash" to know where "Meanie" was, was if he ran to where he would be across the street from where he slept, since that was the only place that he knew where to meet him; so "Meanie" ran there. As he ran, he pushed the second button on the remote and signaled
He reached the spot where he always met "Colorflash" before "Colorflash" did. That meant that he would be there by himself while the other three eggs slowly gained on him; so he stood in fighting position as they approached. He hoped that maybe he would be able to hold the other three eggs off until "Colorflash" arrived. If he could force "Colorflash" to help him against the
three eggs by threatening to blow him up with the exploding collar that he had placed around his neck, then afterwards, maybe
he could make a deal with "Long-Fingers" to restore his body if he gives her "Colorflash"; for he was a remarkable asset and he now saw the reality that even "Colorflash" could never get the best of "Long-:Fingers" with her incredibly powerful magic.
The three finally arrived and surrounded "Meanie", slowly walking up toward him.
"Meanie" held the knife in the air with his left hand and jestered with his right hand holding the remote, "Come on: Make your Move! I've handled wimps like you before!"
"But not as an egg", said one of the three eggs. "Don't forget: You're now very vulnerable."
As the three eggs closed slowly in on him, "Meanie" warned, "Well, don't forget; you're now eggs too!"
At this moment, "Colorflash" shows up; and as he approached, "Meanie” shouted, “'Colorflash'; boy am I glad to see you!
“I’m your owner ‘Meanie‘; and I look like this now because a witch changed me into an egg.
“Now you help me fight these guys or I'll blow you up. Don't forget that you still have that collar around you neck!"
"Colorflash" walked up and stood on the left side of "Meanie". He looked at the three eggs and growled and they became
afraid when they saw him.
It all turned out to be a show; for all of a sudden, "Colorflash", when "Meanie" least expected it, snatched the remote out of
his hand. "Colorflash" then ran to a drain and dropped the remote into the gutter.
As the three eggs stared in wonder, "Colorflash" turned back around. He stared right at "Meanie" and growled viciously; and
his jagged teeth so frightened the four white eggs, that their white egg shells turned pure white. "Colorflash" began running
directly at "Meanie". He leaped into the air; and as he did, "Meanie" held up the knife blade in the air.
In a moment, it was all over. "Colorflash" had knocked over "Meanie" and broke him. "Colorflash" was also seriously injured
too from “Meanie’s” knife. He laid on the ground howling in pain.
It finally dawned on the three eggs, that the only reason that "Meanie" spoke as if "Colorflash" was going to help him was because he was controlling him with the remote and they sprang into action. They began looking for weapons. One found a
pipe and a second egg found a large rock to hold in his hand.
As the third egg rummaged through the garbage, one of the other eggs said to him, "Hurry up! We're waiting for you!"
"I haven't found anything yet: be patient", he retorted.
As he scrambled through the garbage, all of a sudden he felt something with his hand. He pulled it out; and to his amazement, it was the jawbone of an ass!
"I don't believe it", he shouted at the others: "I'm not even 'Cain' and I get to finish 'Meanie' off with the jawbone of an ass!"
"Let's do it", shouted another egg!
At this command, all three eggs leaped onto "Meanie" and began beating him mercilessly, with a rock, a pipe and the jawbone of an ass. Yoke, egg-white and eggshell flew everywhere; not any from the three eggs but all from "Meanie". They continued to beat him until he was an absolute flat mess with egg goop and egg shell pieces splattered everywhere and all over the three
eggs and their weapons; until finally it was all over.
They looked at "Colorflash". He was now dead. As they watched, a stream of blood began leaving his body and flowing
into the gutter and then down the drain. It was almost as if the blood was trying to escape, for it made one path, in even
amounts all the way to the drain. The unusual thing was, that every few feet, the blood had changed colors. Sometimes it was red, sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes yellow, sometimes purple, sometimes orange, sometimes white, etc.. It
flowed out as every single color that a person could think of.
"I wonder what kind of a dog that was", wondered one egg? "I have never seen a dog like that before. It’s got rings around
it’s body and rings around it's eye pupils as well."
Another egg answered, "I don't know; but ‘Meanie’ was obviously controlling him with that thing that the dog dropped down
"Whatever Kind of dog that was", insisted the last egg, "at least he helped us get even with 'Meanie'.”
They walked back to the home of the witch. They went inside.
When they at last confronted her, one of them said, "O.K.; 'Meanie' is now dead. We killed him. He is nothing more than a splattered egg on the street.
"Now, you told us that you would: Will you please give us our regular bodies back?"
"Oh I did tell you that I would change your bodies back, after you finish off 'Meanie'”, she reasoned; "but I did not tell you that there were conditions."
"Conditions", questioned on of the eggs? "You never said anything about conditions.”
"Oh; but there are conditions", she confirmed. “The main one is, that before I can give you back your regular bodies, you
must agree to be my servants for the rest of your lives. If you don't, you'll all end up like ‘Meanie’; a splattered egg all over the street!
"A servant to a witch is no easy thing you know. There are strict responsibilities and there will be duties of death, meaning 'hitman' duties. There will also be physical labor. After all, I need someone to do my chores for me! You will pick things up for
me; and when you do, you will smile. You will clean and groom my pet animals which will include my bats and you will be my
All of a sudden, one of the eggs knifed her in the back. He had picked up the knife that "Meanie" had used to kill "Colorflash".
"Oh no", she screamed! "No ordinary knife could ever kill me; but you have stabbed me with a knife that has the blood of a 'transformation beast' on it'. It is the only blood in the universe that is stronger than the blood of a witch and you have contaminated me!
"Oh, I hate you! I hate you! I can't even think clearly enough from my frustration to think of what kind of spell I can caste
on you before I die. I hate you, you rotten egg!"
Immediately after her last words, an orange mist left out of her mouth as she collapsed on the floor and one of the eggs said, "Pee-you; does that stink!"
The next morning, as the three eggs sat at the breakfast table of the witches house, afraid to go anywhere but afraid of all her strange pets, they stared at the front page of the morning newspaper, with a large picture of three eggs chasing a fourth egg who had a knife in his hand down the street. The front page read, in giant letters, "ATTACK EGGS TAKE 'NEW YORK CITY!'".
"I wonder what idiot took that picture", asked one of the eggs?
"I have no idea", answered another. "The only idea I have is that now that you've killed that witch, we don't have anyone to change us back to the way we were. We're stuck being eggs forever! Did you ever think of that Mr. ‘Smartypants'?"
"She never intended on changing us back anyway", said the third egg. “You heard what she said. She said that ‘she was
going to make us be her servants for the rest of our lives’.
"Besides; there is a solution"
"And what would that be", asked the second egg?
The third egg answered, "Find another witch."
THE VERY END